Each year a new set of resolutions. Am I going to make or break them? It's hard to say but it will be fun being honest about the wins and losses.

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Tuesday, January 10, 2017

My Mess Makes Me Massive

First, I feel I need to address the fact that all of my articles seem to deal with the same issues each year.  I don't know if that means I'm just like everyone else who struggles with the same things through out their life, or if it just means that I'm a mess.  Which leads me to my current topic.  My mess, and for that matter, the fact that I'm feeling pretty massive at the moment.  Cue the flashback to the moment I realized the core of my issue.  It was the mid 2000's (I think), and I was watching Oprah. Man did I love her show.  That particular day her guest was an author.  An author of a book called "Does this Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?".  At the time I was disappointed because given a day off to watch my favorite talk show host, I was hoping for any major Hollywood guest.  I was even hoping for a Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz appearance to brighten my day.  BUT, it's Oprah and I stuck it out.  Basically to make a long episode short, the Author explained how there was a connection between the clutter we have in our life and our outward physique.  That there is a relationship between what we own and what we consume.  In essence, there is a connection between excess baggage in the house and well, excessive weight.  When our lives are cluttered and messy, it's an attitude. It's a thought process and we tend to bring that into our physical lives as well.  The message was 'Clean up your house and you'll lose the weight'.  So at the time, it was a great idea. I never bought the book (re-read previous article about lack of follow through).  I continue to battle losing and gaining weight every year (re-read articles about my weight loss goals).  I continue to hope to clean things up in my house, but the clutter keeps increasing (re-read...wait there are no articles-weird).  So here we are again, 2017, and I need to lose weight.  I need to make it a goal, but I'm actually starting to doubt myself.  I'm a liar.  I tell myself that it will stick every year and it NEVER does.  I've lied to myself so many years now that I can't even believe myself when I start to get back on track.  I also need to clean up the clutter in my life, and somehow, I know that they are connected. This author that wrote the book was completely right.  There is a connection.  It's a mentality.  I'm content to lose control and it needs to end.  So along with the weight loss goal, comes the cleaning goal.  I'm going to FINALLY try and follow through with cleaning everything up in my life. Truth be told, I started a little early on this one.  In December I started cleaning my basement which was an utter disaster.  I've been continuing to "clean house".  I've taken so much to Goodwill. Bins, and I mean, bins of clothes, dishes, home furnishings...gone!  Truthfully the basement is so clean, I could move.  My house is on the way to becoming organized, and I actually do feel the motivation to work towards my physical goals as well.  I do sense a change in the way I think about mess and mass.  Here are my goals for 2017 in regards to mess and mass.  Mess-Clean my storage/attic, and closets. Touch up walls with paint and buy new pictures.  Updating areas that have needed updating for years. Replace hardware in the kitchen, hallways and basement.  Mass-Lose 30lbs, by eating a low calorie diet, and going to the gym daily - Insisting on weekly weigh ins.  I plan on checking in more often to update how the goals are turning out.  I believe that if I can change my mentality, then I may actually be able tackle this for good.  When I turned 40 this past year (re-read past article), my Aunt Sis said "You're life is just about to start."  I actually believe her.  I'm looking forward to my final 5 months of '40'.  I believe them to be the best and just the start of a lifetime change. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

"Nobody is Thinking About You in the First Place"

I recently read this most humorous and somewhat depressing quote.  "When you're 20, you care what everyone thinks.  When you're 40, you stop caring what everyone thinks.  When you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place."  I turned 40 in 2016 and when I read this, I thought wow, the part about the 20's and 40's was spot on. I cared so much what other people thought of me when I was younger and now it seems, I'm content to be me and let those that aren't, go by the wayside. Over the years I've had my share of personal growth, acceptance and quite frankly a fair amount of counseling. All leading me to the conclusion that 'I am who I am".  That's all great, so where does the depressing part kick in? Um..."nobody is thinking about me in the first place"?!  Am I going to realize someday that the things I say, do, or worse yet, post, don't mean anything to anyone.  As I pondered this idea, I realized that of course this wasn't true.  The things you do really do matter, like an act of kindness towards somebody, or showing love to others that need it.
Luke 6:38 says: "Be easy on people;  you'll find life a lot easier.  Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back-given back with bonus and blessing.  Giving, not getting, is the way.  Generosity begets generosity."
The acts of genuine kindness and love that you show ultimately matter to the people that you give to, but I don't think the quote is about those people or this verse.  I think what it really means, is that the things we thought mattered to others, really don't.  We think people are constantly considering us, or life somehow revolves around us.  It sounds more selfish than I want it to, but think about it?  We post our life away on social media, thinking that the more likes we get, the more people are thinking about us. Posting, following, doing whatever it takes to get more people to read, like and follow us. "165 likes?!  Awesome, so many people think about me." "look 365 people follow me on twitter, 160 people read my snap chat story." And for the irony of this article in the first place, "look how many people read my blog".  I think I'm slowly starting to get the concept that I've taken myself too seriously.  That people don't think about me in the "first place", they think about me in the 'second place'.  The place where generosity, kindness, and real relationship live.  The "first place" is phony, the "second place" is genuine.  So a goal of mine for this year, is to do things in the "second place",  to help someone in need, to build one more relationship, and to be kind.  And when I do post my life on social media, it will be to keep a record or log of my life.  A timeline for myself, and possibly my kids, A place to post my pictures and albums to look back on, A snap chat story that will make my friend Betty laugh, but never a place where I believe people can validate my life. With that said, I'm not 60, so truth be told, I may not get it at all. But I do know, I have much to learn, and much to work towards. Happy New Year!