"Nobody is Thinking About You in the First Place"

I recently read this most humorous and somewhat depressing quote.  "When you're 20, you care what everyone thinks.  When you're 40, you stop caring what everyone thinks.  When you're 60, you realize no one was ever thinking about you in the first place."  I turned 40 in 2016 and when I read this, I thought wow, the part about the 20's and 40's was spot on. I cared so much what other people thought of me when I was younger and now it seems, I'm content to be me and let those that aren't, go by the wayside. Over the years I've had my share of personal growth, acceptance and quite frankly a fair amount of counseling. All leading me to the conclusion that 'I am who I am".  That's all great, so where does the depressing part kick in? Um..."nobody is thinking about me in the first place"?!  Am I going to realize someday that the things I say, do, or worse yet, post, don't mean anything to anyone.  As I pondered this idea, I realized that of course this wasn't true.  The things you do really do matter, like an act of kindness towards somebody, or showing love to others that need it.

Luke 6:38 says: "Be easy on people;  you'll find life a lot easier.  Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back-given back with bonus and blessing.  Giving, not getting, is the way.  Generosity begets generosity."

The acts of genuine kindness and love that you show ultimately matter to the people that you give to, but I don't think the quote is about those people or this verse.  I think what it really means, is that the things we thought mattered to others, really don't.  We think people are constantly considering us, or life somehow revolves around us.  It sounds more selfish than I want it to, but think about it?  We post our life away on social media, thinking that the more likes we get, the more people are thinking about us. Posting, following, doing whatever it takes to get more people to read, like and follow us. "165 likes?!  Awesome, so many people think about me." "look 365 people follow me on twitter, 160 people read my snap chat story." And for the irony of this article in the first place, "look how many people read my blog".  I think I'm slowly starting to get the concept that I've taken myself too seriously.  That people don't think about me in the "first place", they think about me in the 'second place'.  The place where generosity, kindness, and real relationship live.  The "first place" is phony, the "second place" is genuine.  So a goal of mine for this year, is to do things in the "second place",  to help someone in need, to build one more relationship, and to be kind.  And when I do post my life on social media, it will be to keep a record or log of my life.  A timeline for myself, and possibly my kids, A place to post my pictures and albums to look back on, A snap chat story that will make my friend Betty laugh, but never a place where I believe people can validate my life. With that said, I'm not 60, so truth be told, I may not get it at all. But I do know, I have much to learn, and much to work towards. Happy New Year!